Working with Men

I have worked for 2 multi-national mega-corporations.  One finance and one tech.  I have been the other or the only most of my professional life.  The only lesbian in the room, the only woman on the team, the only Jew at the Christmas Party.  We had a woman branch manager for a few years when I was in finance. Once she called a meeting to announce layoffs.  She cried. I was moved by her tears. I wished I could hug her.  

 

This week we had an all-hands at my tech company.  The mood was celebratory.  They popped Veuve Cliquot corks before noon on a Wednesday.  When they played the sizzle reel, to get us fired up, I swelled with pride.  We make fun, cool, iconic things!   On the dais sat 5 dudes.  The leaders of our company!  They showed the new org chart.  There’s one woman on the branch below the upper branch.

 

More than once I’ve had a male boss tell me that I should “watch my tone.”  I am often too afraid to speak on conference calls.  If you’ve met me, you know that I am a big, tall, androgynous woman.  I am not afraid to take up space in a room and I have always been a feminist and an activist.  After the 2008 election, two douchebags, brothers named Bill and Bob, were having a conversation about “if Obama’s mom was white, why do they call him ‘the First Black President’?”  I asked them to shut their office doors if they were going to continue to be openly racist in my workplace.  I sat in a cube.  They sat in offices with doors.  I got sent for by management and ended up relocating my seat.  As far as I know, they still work there. 

 

Last year my tech company got a new HR Director and announce a diversity initiative.  I have been given a visible leadership role.  I am afraid to give too many details about my experience in that role because last year I posted this on Facebook: 

“My unfortunate mood this morning:

YOU ARE A SECRETARY. I AM A HIGHLY SKILLED IT PROFESSIONAL. CAN'T YOU FUCKING FIGURE OUT HOW TO CREATE A MULTI-PAGE PDF SCAN!?!?!?!

I AM TRYING TO WATCH AMY SCHUMER.” and I got a call from HR.  Joan Rivers had recently died and I had been thinking a lot about comedy and being fearless.  

This diversity work that I am doing is hard.  People say they are “for diversity in tech” but don’t do a single thing to make tech less white, more black and more female. I am committed.  I know activism changes the world.  I find strength and inspiration from Black Lives Matter, Black Twitter, Jewish Voice for Peace and Trans Activists and Intersectional Feminists.  I thank them for their fearlessness and bravery.  I don’t know any other way to be.  Keep fighting.  Peace.